God Bless America… Another day in the life of the BOP…
So in my life a lot of trauma has occurred. This has definitely been a factor in my drug use history and my criminal lifestyle. I was told that it was a “need” I needed to address while in custody, and I agreed. I waited for almost 2 years to finally get into the Trauma class offered by BOP. I’m not sure what I expected, yet based off every other class I clearly should have known, yet and still all in the class were shocked and disappointed to realize that our class was not really to actually address any trauma we incurred, but just to go over a few techniques that may help when it is triggered. Try deep breathing they say, it helps they say.. Yes, I recall learning that in the 3rd grade actually, they offer that little gem in kindergarten now a days I believe. This is a class that has a 30 page workbook, run by a person hoping to become a intern, and this person is dealing with a class including people with over 10 year sentences with major, major trauma issues. It’s honestly heart wrenching to look around the room and see the look of loss of hope as we realize we will still not be addressing our issues we are so ready to unpack that we are even willing to do it in a group setting… we just want to heal. The frustration as palpable. Find the gratitude in it right? Absolutely. We are now here to help this intern to live their best practice session on those of us that are screaming for a doctor, for a release, for SOMETHING other than a box checked, like the BOP has actually done something. It’s nuts. It’s frustrating, and its all we got coming. Who is this helping? Not the community they claim to want to protect, not the hurt people they say they want to rehabilitate. This mediocrity helps the BOP look good on paper. That is all. This is insanity. Jump through hoops for the sake of them being satified we are willing to jump. Yet we jump to fall flat on our face. The bar set so low we can’t even make it off the ground. I write this to remember where I came from and where I will focus on helping those still left behind, looking for a way out, if not out of prison at least out of their personal hell, out of their toxic thinking, out of their cycles of criminal behavior, and out of the insanity that has been our generational cycles for so long it’s now attached to our DNA. Change is possible, this is the hope, yet to affect change authenicty has to be present. It had to start with investing in humanity. This is bad. Hope is leaving Tallahaddee FCI at a astounding rate, with new lows behind every corner. I hope something changes here. God bless you guys out there rooting for those of us still in here. I know I am more than a conquerer, I will prevail because I can do all things through Christ.
