During my incarceration, one particular experience that had a monumental impact on my thinking, something that seriously changed my perspective on my past and will ultimately change events in my future, was when a new pen-pal shared with me that he had looked me up online. He proceeds to tell me that he found 19 different mugshots. I was speechless, ashamed, appalled. I was all over the emotional board with this revelation. I did not even realize that I had such a horrid past and presence online. I was embarrassed at the thought that this is what my family/kids would see if the looked me up. Not to mention future employers and parole officers. I want this to be gone. I want to change this image. This reputation. So ultimately, my next question is: “How do I achieve this?” I’m not sure I can erase it but I do think I can change it. I can overcome this. This, I think, is called grit! But I have developed a two prong goal based on this one experience. First, I want to do 19 good deeds, so to speak. I want to do 19 things that will be shared online that has helped someone else or my community. The “give back” side of recovery. I also decided that I want to accomplish 19 degree’s/certifications in various area’s to attempt to outweigh the bad that I have done. If I can accomplish 19 mugshots, I can do 19 things to better myself and 19 things that will help others…..
