When I was incarcerated at FDC Miami, a very young girl was brought in, I will call her “Bambi”, for she reminded me of a young deer, lithe, pretty face, but easily scared off. I could instantly tell that she had had a rough life and at barely 21, she had this demeanor of an old person trapped in a young body.
In Miami, I was part of the “Welcoming Committee” and as a collective group of women, we made sure that no “new arrival” was without some extra clothing or a noodle soup/sleeve of crackers. Especially in prison, no one should go to bed hungry or have clean clothes on.
As I was an Orderly in Miami, the group of orderlies would get a heads up that an ‘X’ number of new arrivals were expected that day. So we would start cleaning up the cells and go door to door to collect clothing, hygiene items, food etc.
We did the same for Bambi and I chatted with her whenever I had time to spare. She had committed a sexual offense and shared her life story of abuse and living on the streets from age 11 (!). The entire story was so heartbreaking and gut wrenching. I have never been around offenders all my life and every day has been a learning curve, to date.
She told me how harsh her life has been, she ended up prostituting herself and her pimp made her do so many things and she was not equipped to fend for herself. She had been abandoned by her family, along the lines, she gave birth to a daughter, and when she got indicted and incarcerated, her mother stepped in and took her daughter in.
But Bambi did not have any support from anyone, all she had were the 3 meals, green jumpsuit, brown underwear and tan slides the BOP provided. Bambi was barely 90 lbs, 5ft tall, so a childlike figure with a sweet baby face. Whatever food people around her could spare, she would take. She did not have anything in her locker. At a certain point, I discovered that she started to “do” K2, she was prostituting herself for drugs and noodles. This did not take long and the group of ladies, including myself that tried to take care of her, sat her down and talked to her. She promised to do better, but she was once again being preyed upon. She just did not have it in her to resist and stand up for herself.
We took her under our wings and had her enroll in NRDAP classes, she got a little job in the kitchen and slowly, she started to heal and fend for herself. We gifted her a 2nd hand watch, it was the first time ever in her life that she had a watch. While she was in Miami, she did not relapse and was in touch with her mother again. She would send letters to her daughter and show pictures to all of us when she received them in the mail.
After a year, she was sentenced and soon after that designated to a prison closer to home. We all wished her the best and prayed that she would make it and ultimately make a successful re-entry into society.
I often think back about her and will never forget the sad, scared look in her eyes, just like a deer caught in the headlights.
Sherida Nabi
