Journal Entry: Robert Jesenik-01/14/2024-Journal #2

Journal Entry

Hard to believe how much better the past 4 days feel compared to the first 4-5 days. I figured it would take a month or so, but really underestimated how the guards treatment and hurry-up-and-wait mentality would bug me just coming off the street from a “normal” life of work, sport, family, reservations, going out, etc…

Equally so I can feel the Fam and Friends slowly getting used to it as well, which further reduces my guilty feelings and stress levels. What I’m slowly coming to understand is that besides cell time of 3:30-5 and 9:30-6 am, one’s choices are eating, exercise which takes 2-3hours/day and then deciding how to fill out the rest of the day. One’s choices are reading, TV, movies on a tablet (like the old-fashioned airline tablets they gave kids with movies, writing, maybe 1-2 hours of class, which I can’t start until February. So reading/writing it is! Already read 3 interesting books(reports being posted on Unfortunately, they wouldn’t let me bring my bible the first day(supposed to) so I haven’t been able to be in the WORD much. But as you see below, Rick Warren has been helpful in reminding me why I’m here! Fortunately, Betsy ordered me the same from Amazon so should be here next week.

The other area you can spend your time is just waiting around to go do something. Hard to explain or for you to relate to,but we lose 2-3hours/day standing in line for a time defined activity (exercise, library, etc.) though we can’t be late. But if a guard doesn’t want to let us go or there isn’t a scheduled overall “movement” of prisoners, all we do is wait. I literally had 4 medical orientation visits this week, dentist, doctor, and another doctor who never showed. and lab work. Each visit was 15 minutes or so, an hour total. Total time in medical was 10 hours. Remember that next time Delta or Southwest are 2 hours late!

As I reflect on everything one thing is true for sure. Other than having been in prison before, there is no good way to be prepared for what’s coming. Fortunately for me, last Monday on my first day in the library I saw an autobiography titled ” Corrections in Ink” Guessing corrections meant prison, I picked it up, Written by a now 28 year-old, who went to jail at 20 years old for drug possession/dealing/using, while in college at Cornell. She was busted and spent a year in city jail and after trial, 2 years in NY prison. Her description of Day One in both facilities and overall experience were identical to mine, but I don’t think reading it ahead of time would have resonated with me the same before coming here. That’s the issue- words on paper vs. living it. She is now a writer covering criminal Justice/injustice for the Marshall Project, a nonprofit dedicated to injustice in our system. I’m not sure what the solution to this broken is after only a week, but it’s on my mind constantly searching….

Another major experience one’s first week is learning all the unwritten rules prison has. They appear to be universal to all prisons, and someday I will post a blog about them to help prepare others ahead of time. Couple examples- piss sitting down into the toilet to avoid spray/mess on the small floor we have in the cell, Wear tennis shoes to the shower, not flip flops- those are for the shower only- no one wants all the bacteria/germs from the shower spread on the walkway and into their cell. And there are many more.

I noticed for the first time in 7+ years I spend zero time on legal matters or business opportunities. Can’t say I miss the legal stuff, even though the team is working on an appeal. I’m taking a different tack this time as to my expectations. Seems all along I’ve had my hopes up to win a motion, filing, trial and even sentencing, only to be disappointed. So for the appeal I have zero expectations which brings some peace of mind to be honest. Given the state of our judicial system, and the stories I hear inside here. I don’t know how one can be optimistic, more to come on that later on my blog, that’s for sure!

Praying for Liberty and Freedom and to see my Fam Bam and friends shortly! BJ