Today eight of us celebrated Lana’s birthday. Lana, a sweet Russian girl, surrendered a few days prior to me. She has a big heart, a contagious laugh, and a smile that lights up the room. She was one of the first women to greet me when I arrived. She too was overcome by the emotions of being here and as I cried tears so did she. She cried for my children, my parents, and the rest of the family I left behind. Compassion – Lana oozes compassion.
It’s remarkable how creative we become when we lack traditional resources. Without a stove, oven, or microwave, Lana’s party still had rice, pasta, tuna salad, an oatmeal dessert, and a birthday cake. We had a spread and birthday decorations. We spared no expense when it came to creativity at least. Everything was made using hot water and miscellaneous commissary items. The cake was no-bake made completely from scratch. It was pretty good.
With only a few bowls available among all of us, we used the bowls as serving dishes and their matching plastic lids as plates. Her happy birthday banner made from white scrap paper and random markers was hung using leftover yarn and two pieces of borrowed tape. I wasn’t showing up empty handed so I gave her a pair of new socks that I received in my first commissary order last week. A small piece of yard was substituted for wrapping paper and a bow. There was something pure and authentic about it.
Six versions of Happy Birthday were sung by just eight of us. It’s fascinating to see so much of the world represented by just a handful of women. Different languages, religions, ethnicities, and cultures sitting on the floor of a federal U.S. prison. So many differences yet shared commonalities. Women who made the wrong decision and have accepted responsibility. Justice is served by containing us behind block walls and steel doors. The perception is that, regardless of the fact that none of us pose anything threat of violence, society benefits more by us being in here than contributing out there. We are average women; mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends. We love and are loved.
As each of us gave a few words of encouragement to Lana it was evident that we are not bad people. In fact, we are kind, loving, and compassionate everyday people. We know the sadness, despair, and isolation felt here. We share feelings of shame, guilt, and disappointment. All of it unites us.
As the tears flowed we passed around a roll of toilet paper. In the absence of any tissues, napkins, or paper towels, toilet paper meets many needs. Creativity and non-traditional living go hand in hand, and for now it’s our way of life.
