It is important for me to educate my peers. I love to write things that will not only educate but keep them attentive and entertained in a way that they may absorb the material I bring forth. I want to always put maximum effort out to represent myself in a positive light and I’m capable of doing so.
The word I chose to do so is “Capable.” The word capable is defined in the Office Edition of Webster’s II New Riverside Dictionary on page 110 as: 1. Having the ability or capacity: efficient 2. Qualified.
I feel like we are all capable of giving back to the community we come from. We’re also capable of teaching our kids to be better then ourselves, teach our people something heartening and uplifting. And it is our responsibility as people to do something positive among each other. We spend a lot of time with each other everyday, work, school, recreation, but is that time used for achieving or is it productive?
Now take a moment and think about the many conversations you have in one day. Ponder the content of each conversation. Is the conversation heavily condensed of cliches? Are the majority of the conversations about cars, girls, who has the most money in the rap world, and gossip on the compound? Or are they constructive? Is any of it relevant to the goals that you are trying to accomplishment or achieve? You should think about how the conversations you have daily can be related to the situation you’re going through at this present time. Because we don’t actively take time to build solid relationships that are conducive to our maturation, as men.
One day I sat down and thought about everything that I have talked to about with people that whole day and I honestly can tell you I hadn’t learned one thing from those conversations. And that hurt me. I couldn’t think of one positive attribute from the dialogue I’d be a part throughout that whole day. And I realized that I was capable of better thoughts and better ways to utilize my time to strengthen who I was an adult man yearning to become a man. I told myself, “Self, you need to branch out and seek out peers that you normally wouldn’t talk to. I was capable of putting the personal prejudice of prison politics that I had acquired from this environment aside and have conversations with anyone. I learned to give people the benefit of doubt and became capable of appreciating their diversity and the knowledge that I had gained from them. It truly was a humbling experience. My mission was to build friendships with people outside of your comfort zone so that you may expand your thinking and learn from an array of people to strength your mind.” And from that day forward I was on a pursuit to learn as much as possible and to grow into a man my son could be proud to call, ‘Father.’
When we are incarcerated we are often plagued with a condition called “Extended Adolescence” and that will keep you from progress and maturing into a man. Yes, physically you are a man, but you’re more of just an adult male. A grown man is one who is responsible for his thoughts and his actions and believes in integrity and protecting and providing for those he cares for. He is not selfish, he is selfless. With this ideology in mind, I became capable
When you go through extended adolescence you do not want to grow up. You are stuck mentally at an age but your body still progresses to grow into adult hood, but your mind is still that of a teenager. So you may get locked up at 18 and do 12 years and get out at 30 years old, but mentally you’re still an 18 year old. That is, of course, if you do not actively engage in classes and programs and treatment in order to mature and grow emotionally and mentally into the man you need to be to stay out of prison.
I have found that people are capable of great feats of generosity. No matter what, we adults should appreciate what we ‘have’ and not focus so much on what we don’t have. It can always be worse. So be thankful for the blessings that have been bestowed upon you, by your creator. I read a story or more like a parable once, and it really resonated with me. It was a fine example of how to appreciate the little thing because they are the most important. I’m not sure of the author, but it goes like this:
“I gave you $10. He gave you $20. You felt that he was better just because he gave you more. But he had $200, and all I has was $10.”
That to me was so powerful, because that person was gracious and willing to give there last without thought. Selflessly. We have to be capable of taking the time and have the discipline to condition ourselves when it comes to helping others. I am very well capable of doing so, and you can, too. We are capable of changing our ways of thinking to help us better succeed in the future. What I learned from all of this is that we should never be too concerned with material things when it comes to helping our spouses, family, friends, kids and community. I want to return to my loved ones better than the man I was when I left them. I will NOT be the exact person I was when I was incarcerated. I know now that when I become a citizen again that I will be ‘capable’ of so much more.
