Journal Entry: Joshua David Nicholas-10/20/2023

Journal Entry

My crisis was a phone call from my lawyer informing me the most powerful government in the would was going to charge me with crimes where I could have faced up to 25 years in prison. At the time my fiance and I were about to have our second child, the stock market was crashing, and I was recently accepted into a PhD program. The trajectory of my life was about to take a significant turn for the worse. In the following months I was fortunate to be blessed with a plea deal that ensured I would be able to be back with my children before they started elementary school. However, coming to prison may have been the best thing that happened to me. In my first two months I was spinning. Despite being a white collar offender I was housed with inmates with much higher custody levels who initiated fights with me until I was designated. Two months later one of the fights resulted in me fracturing my ribs. I was told I would be housed in the SHU with a homicidal inmate on suicide watch. My life of success and luxury had taken a turn and for the first time in my life I understood the true meaning of “despair”. Fortunately I made it out of their alive; however, during that time in the SHU cut off from everything I meditated and reset my priorities. My fiance had told me that she wanted a simple life where we raise our kids and enjoy life but I wanted more. As I stared out the window of the 13th floor to Miami FTX stadium I laughed at the irony that cryptocurrency greed cost me and now I stare at the stadium that was a part of my fall. I spent the next few months studying GMAT preparation materials, reached out to my professors, and began studying discrete math as I prepare for my future upon release. BOP tends to label all my efforts such as finishing my education through correspondence as security threats but I continue to stay focused and be patient as I know that in less than a year I’ll be out and back in the classroom and one day teaching the youth finance and the thing my curriculum lacked: business ethics. For the next nine months though, I will focus on the RDAP materials and get out of it what I put into it as time and time over again attitude is often times the distinguishing factor that determines who gets the job and who doesn’t. Focusing on my attitude and applying myself upon my release will determine my future. My motivation is my girl and kids and I pray to God every day that we have a long and happy marriage and a successful career. Daily prayer and focus is where I lacked before but sometimes when we get off the straight and narrow God has to bring us back. Now it’s up to me to never get off the path again.