I’ve been an Adult In Custody (AIC) at FCI Aliceville for two-and-a-half years. In that two-and-a-half years, there have been four deaths; two suicides and two health-related. I am 52 years old, and all four deaths were women younger than me, whose physical and mental health upon arrival must have been deemed appropriate for this facility and the standard of medical care they are able to deliver here. That thought disturbs me greatly, but the death of Kimberly Watts, age 35, has had a significant impact on me because of my personal relationship with her.
I remember the first time I met Kim. She was assigned to the GED class that I teach. She was nervous and quiet, but I immediately noticed her kind demeanor and sweet affect. She was one of those people you get good vibes from. As the weeks continued, I had the pleasure of getting to know Kim better. I can’t tell you about her past, or why she was in prison, because just as with all of my students, I never asked. I don’t care about that stuff. I was privledged to to get to know Kim as she was here; a person who was genuinely looking to improve herself and her life. She did this through her job at Unicor, and continued it through her diligence in earning her GED.
Having taught GED for the past two year, I’ve come to see all types of AICs. Kim was one of my favorite students, not only because she worked hard and came to class everyday, but because she was genuinely kind, caring, and honest; all things that are difficult to find in a person here in prison. She excelled in class quickly, as she was a fast learner and had good scholastic skills.
About 6 weeks ago, with only one more test to take to earn her GED, Kim suddenly stopped coming to class. I learned from a friend of hers that she was sick, and was put on a medical idle for a week. After that week was up, she sent me a note through someone saying she was still not doing well, but could I please send work back to her so she could continue to learn and study on her own. I was impressed. Last week, I learned that she had to be transported in a wheelchair because she was not able to make it to the dining hall for meals on her own. This past Wednesday I cried as my boss told me Kim had passed away.
As a person of deep and profound faith in God, I know He will use Kim’s passing for His good. I can speculate on the good that might come from an investigation into Kim’s medical care and illness, but for me, her passing has given me a larger meaning. Four deaths in two-and-a-half years, all women younger than myself. As an aging inmate, that statistic is terrifying, and tells me that should I get sick, my fate here is not promising. But, then I think of Kim, and the persons she was as I knew her; someone who was genuinely looking to better herself, and someone who I came to know as smart, kind, caring, and honest. Perhaps in being that person, she had fulfilled everything God needed her to do and to learn. Perhaps she had attained what God was trying to teach her, and others around her. Perhaps God decided that since she couldn’t yet be rewarded with earthly things, including freedom, He would give her due rewards to her in heaven. So while her death, and the death of other AICs seem so senseless, let it be a reminder of what is really important in life. Although it may seem like striving to improve ourselves while incarcerated is a long and difficult road, with very little incentive or earthly reward, at the end of the day we are doing it only for ourselves and for our Lord.
I have a life sentence. Chances are, my fate will be the same as Kim’s. However, God used her death to send me a message. It is God who has the final say, not man. It is God who truly knows the person I am, the work I have done, and the work I am doing. It is God who promises to reward this work with His rewards that are better than anything man could ever give me, including my freedom. So, I’ll continue to be kind, honest, caring, smart, and to work hard at all of it, for Him, just like Kimberly Watts.
