Today my family has been on my mind more than usual. The phones at the facility In Lompoc California are down for maintenance. When communication is down I often worry about my kids and family. Lately my mother, Marcella, has been on my mind more often than not. Today she is at a hospital receiving a chemotherapy infusion. A few months back my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. In the beginning of my incarceration, one of my biggest fears was to lose a loved one while I was in prison. After some time that fear subsided until one day I called my mother and received the terrible news. Although there is no doubt in my mind that my mother can beat this diagnosis, she is the strongest and most resilient woman I know, my fears can still overwhelm me.
My mother’s love for me has never wavered not even for a second throughout my entire life. When I was arrested my mother shed countless tears but always had my back through all the turmoil my actions caused our family. No matter the amount of time I was facing my mother remained confident I would make it through any sentence and find success in the future. I love my mom. I am not ashamed to admit I’m a momma’s boy through and through. I owe it to my mother to persevere through this sentence and come out on the other side a better man and equally as important a better son. I owe it to my mother to have the same confidence in myself that she has in me. I will honor my mother by putting in the work to earn academic credentials and spend my time working toward goals that will lead to my success upon release from prison. I want my mother to be proud of the work I put in and my transformation as a human being. When the day comes that I walk out of prison and give my mother a hug as a freedman I want her confidence in me and my future to be justified through the work and action I put in while I was incarcerated. I have made up my mind and nothing can change it. I will honor my mother and be the son she has always deserved. I will make my mom proud.
