I’ve not written in a long time. If you have read previous entries, you know I was struggling with grieving for my friend, Bobby, fiancee, Amanda, and her daughter – and the best friend I will ever have – Nevaeh. This struggle consumed me for almost 2 years. It took me going to the SHU for intoxication of K2 two times to finally snap out of the extreme depression I was in.
I know future employers and probation officers will one day read this. I hope this shows my willingness to be completely upfront and transparent about my recovery journey.
The last time I went to the SHU was the beginning of Dec. 2024. During my stay I made myself some promises.
-I wrote down a list of positive affirmations to say daily. *I still do this each morning as soon as my feet hit the floor*
-I promised I would use my time wisely. *Each day I self-study a variety of topics*
-I promised to gain a support system and solid release plan. *I have 3 penpals – one through AA, one through the Gangaji Foundation, and one through the Buddhist Zen Center. Also, a math mentor through the PMP organization. And, I have written several places in the Forrest County, Mississippi area to get resources for my release plan. I am waiting for a response.*
-Most importantly, I would stay in a sincere state of gratitude and find ways to give back to other. *I am helping several women write places to build a solid release plan. I offer people list of resources that they will benefit from. I am a Peer Mentor Volunteer until my conduct clears this June. And, my favorite, helping a beautiful, strong, optimistic woman, who has suffered from a stroke, practice her speech, re-learn to write and do math, and study for her GED. Also, go outside and play games and enjoy the sunshine.
My self-confidence has grown 1,000,000,000 times over. I have dreams I am pursuing and know without a doubt I will accomplish them.
I am deeply humbled by the loss of my loved ones. A letter recently informed me that 4 more people that I had known for 14 years passed away from overdose from opioids.
I will lead by example and make a difference. For them and all who have suffered from addiction. Just know, if this applies to you, you are not alone.
I will had a detailed release plan after I hear responses from the places I have written. I look forward to many more entries in the future.
