Journal Entry: Andrew Gerald Millas-11/04/2023

Journal Entry

11/4/2023 (Day #4329)

Readiness Goals…

SOTP-NR Phase 1 concludes with an assignment to write a “Readiness Statement” for presentation to the group and SOTP staff/facilitators. The overall expectation of the Readiness Statement is, in the simplest terms, is an explanation of each person’s willingness to accept and participate in treatment. To support their reasoning for willingness, each group member is free to express ownership of their offense behavior and remorse, and why they feel they are now ready for treatment. Each group member is also expected to establish 5 goals relevant to treatment.
I’ve written already about my presentation and the feedback I received from the other group members and the staff/facilitators who attended. As much as I would like to share my Readiness Statement as it was written, I won’t because their are confidentiality and consideration concerns that outweigh my transparency intentions. I haven’t shared my 5 goals, though. Since establishing these goals 5 years ago, I have refined and evolved them to be more effective and measurable. Still, publishing them now is a genuine reflection of myself 5 years ago.

5 Goals For Readiness Statement:

#1: Complete my college education. The first measurable measuring point is my Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science, with a minor in Psychology. Then, ultimately earn an MBA. (11/2023 update: I am still actively pursuing this goal, and it has evolved to an additional goal towards Service To Others with my creating, writing, and teaching College Correspondence Courses 101 to encourage others to pursue postsecondary education, also.)

#2: Successfully complete sex offender treatment. (11/2023 update: Goal met, with the added bonus of the feedback I received upon completion from the facilitator, Dr. W. about my “…exemplary participation…”.)

#3: I want to accomplish or achieve something during sex offender treatment that is significant enough to earn a stress ball. Measurable by earning a stress ball. (11/2023 update: Goal met. I helped others in my group with homework assignments, and I received a stress ball for demonstrating the Guiding Principle “Regard For Others”. A stress ball is a small foam ball, about the size of a tennis ball, with the Guiding Principles printed on it, only available here by earning one, they are not available for purchase.)

#4: I want to learn and maintain emotional balance. This is measurable by consecutive holidays that I don’t lash out or flip out in a BPD-related crisis episode. (11/2023 update: In the big picture sense, I look at this goal as met at least as far as it was established in 2019. In hindsight, there are more effective ways to set this goal with better metrics for measurement. My “Mental Health Care Level” has been downgraded since 2019, reflecting positive growth and emotional balance, so that’s a plus, too.)

#5: I want to become a mentor to other sex offenders in the treatment community, someone that others can look TO!! – not UP TO!! – as a role model. This is measurable by whenever others seek my assistance and I get to feel like I got to help somebody. (11/2023 update: Another less-than-ideal goal and metric for measuring it. I can still assess this as a “goal accomplished”, though, especially considering my participation earlier this year as a SOTP-NR Peer Support/Mentor, where I was part of a trio who augmented an SOTP-NR group that was short of group members. That experience afforded me a “remedial” opportunity to refresh my SOTP-NR learning.)

#6: Accomplish one thing each day. This is measurable by accomplishing one thing every day. (11/2023 update: Ever the over-achiever in my SOTP-NR, I added an extra goal beyond the expectation. This is a daily goal that I think I have MOSTLY accomplished, I would say my success rate is over 90%. For me, the extended application of this goal is how I manage my self-criticism and self-talk on the days that I don’t accomplish at least one thing. Allowing and forgiving myself when I don’t meet this goal is a positive sign, a reflection of my learning and growth, evolution towards a better version of myself. So that’s essentially another, or “collateral”/”secondary goal accomplished.

I’ve written them exactly, verbatim, as I wrote and presented them in 2019, at the completion of SOTP-NR Phase 1. When I review and reflect on these goals now, I can identify the flaws in them and how I would write them more effectively now. Still, I am appreciative of the progress they reflect at that time, and doubly appreciative of my evolution since then.

I’m a work in progress.