10/22/2023 (Day #4316)
Obstacle: my past. Overcoming it?
Based on hindsight and my experience since my arrest, I have a sense of my past being an obstacle, especially related to reconnecting and making new connections with people. From my own perspective and opinion, “old me” was not the easiest or most desirable person to be around, and I had a less-than-stellar reputation that my attitude and behavior sometimes contributed to. That’s “new me” looking back and broadly assessing “old me”. I won’t, and don’t, assume or pretend to know what others’ assessment was or is. I concede that I wasn’t coolest person in my peer group. My behavior, attitude, and some of the people I associated with perpetuated some of the bad reputation, and I own the responsibility for the bad choices I made and poor peer selections, and the subsequent damage to my reputation.
Overcoming my past is only in my control to the extent of controlling my own thoughts and actions consistent with my morals, values, and beliefs. In other words, put my best foot forward, be authentically and genuinely me, and that’s the best I can do. What others think of me is something I can’t control, I can only make sure I don’t provide fuel for dumpster-fires and a bad reputation.
What’s happened in the past is done, I can’t change it – I CAN change how I think and behave to contribute positively to a better future and don’t repeat past mistakes and bad behavior. That’s the best I know of to do to overcome the obstacle of my past.
Profoundly remorseful, and hopeful for reconciliations and new connections.