Journal Entry: Andrew Gerald Millas-09/12/2023

Journal Entry

9/12/2023 (Day #4276)

Baggage and burdens

I’ve learned that I wasted a lot of time and gave away a lot of free rental space in my mind to an abundance of baggage, unnecessary and non-essential burdens – oversensitivity, resentment, dwelling on the past – that I carried around. It was all dead weight, served me no useful purpose. Learning and accepting that helped me see the futility of it, and helped me clean house in my noggin. Some things I was able to just let go of by accepting that they were pointless or unresolvable, others I had to work through first. The end result is a clutter-free mind that I’m more protective and selective about allocating space in – that especially means more rational, considerate, and proactive.
With the clutter addressed, I’ve also re-evaluated my priorities to define what I’m willing to take on. A big liability for me used to be oversensitivity about being talked about. I cranked out a ridiculous amount of (mis-)perceptions about people and things they supposedly said about me, and wasted a lot of time and energy pushing back on the comments. Now I understand how insecurity and not knowing who I was factored into my reactions. Understanding that and overcoming it helped instill new perspective from a more secure and identity-confident mindset. I let rumors and alleged he said, she said comments pass on by. I preserve my time and energy for the essentials, the people and relationships, and priorities that matter.
My social circle here sometimes asks me how I can “stand it” or not react to comments and rumors allegedly about me. I tell them it’s simple – I refuse to allocate value or validity to that stuff. If it isn’t said to me, I’m not giving it time or energy to respond or react. In my new view, reacting or responding to rumors and comments lend credibility to them, it’s futile to expend the time and energy on things are baseless or untrue. Any comments or rumors about me almost certainly would come from someone who doesn’t know me, and therefore the words mean nothing to me; anyone who knows me also knows they can bring comments and criticism (hopefully constructive, but hey, I’m flexible…) to me rather than about me. So I don’t waste my time or get worked up about that stuff. I think it’s Taylor Swift who sang “Haters gonna hate hate hate…”. To my thinking, if I don’t let it matter or get to me, it’s empty words. Guess who’s unburdened of negativity and baggage by letting all that stuff go? Yep – ME.
By adhering to this perspective, I’ve preserved my time and energy, I’m ensuring that I am only carrying the essentials, what’s important. I’m much more at peace because of it, and I’m able to direct my attention to the people and relationships, and priorities that matter.

So much lighter and positive-minded!!