Journal Entry: Andrew Gerald Millas-08/23/2023

Journal Entry

8/23/20233 (Day #4256)

Perspective and Balance

Therapy helped me identify and address “all or nothing” thinking that permeated my perspectives and perceptions. I didn’t accommodate the grey areas or middle ground. That created imbalances in my emotional, mental, and physical well-being. My therapist and I didn’t spend much time dissecting the how and why- lack of perspective was obviously a common denominator in my unhealthy thinking patterns and irrational perceptions. The path forward was simple and direct, I needed, and wanted, a thinking overhaul to establish balance and consideration of “middle ground”.
My therapist and I audited my perspectives and perceptions of various events and interactions. Then we reviewed alternatives with rational and objective thinking applied, emphasizing consideration of the “middle” space between “all or nothing”. From there, the onus was on me to put the psychology and learning together into consistent practice to achieve more balance. Repetition = habit, habit = effective and sustainable change.
I’m pleased with myself and my success so far with attaining more balance, while simultaneously maintaining my receptive outlook for continued improvement. Emotional balance has brought stability, patience, and compassion. I’m better for myself, more supportive and confident about myself, and I have a better sense of who I am. My relationships with my support network and social circle have also improved. We have stronger connections, more mutual trust and support. I’m more open and receptive to theirs and others’ feedback and perspectives. Their stress and anxiety is abated by confidence in my more rational and reasonable demeanor, and reduced intensity. We just enjoy healthier and more constructive relationships with each other now.
Mental balance has helped me be more present and self-aware, and I gained the confidence to embrace vulnerability and transparency. I’m more proactive now, less reactive, able to deal with adversity constructively and productively, versus my old “bulldozer” approach to it. And I definitely feel like I’ve been tested with adversity in the last 5 years – especially my beloved Grandma’s passing in 2018, and the Covid lockdown here. Coming through both of those events ok has reinforced my confidence and trust to be an ally to myself instead of my own harshest critic. I have a stronger sense of myself, who I am and my identity. I am me, authentically, with my character, integrity, and morals intact. Finally.
Physically, I’m working diligently to achieve equitable levels of balance to the gains I’ve made emotionally and mentally. I accepted that I was going to work “from the inside out”, and my inside is better, so I’m on track with my plan. I have a steady workout and running routine, and I’m working on diet changes to improve and maintain my physical health. I have a couple imminent surgeries in the near future that are minor disruptions to my progress until I recover from them. But I’m able to accept that and work with it because of the gains I’ve made to get to this point.
I’ve simplified and streamlined my thinking to minimize complications and distractions in my life – that’s enabled balance, and balance is a great asset to my future progress and success.

Stronger each day. With compassion, courage, and humility.