6 Aug 2023 (Day #4239)
My primary motivation for my treatment, rehabilitation, and education efforts is self-improvement. I feel like it’s important and helpful, and I want the people outside my support network to hear it directly from me. For me, self-improvement is my authentic and sincere self acting in accordance with my conscience. Do I hope or consider that early release could be a possibility? Absolutely. I am transparent and honest about that. I don’t want to spend a single day more than necessary in prison, this isn’t what I want out of life. I also understand that early release is subordinate to bettering myself, starting with my foundation, and working to become a better dad, son, nephew, friend, and person. The collateral benefit of that in the long-term is better positioning me for successful post-release outcomes in the community. Each opportunity to learn and grow is my primary motivation, and secondary to that is any early release opportunity.
My strategy is focused on working on myself as the first step, building a solid foundation to enhance progress in subsequent steps. I believe success yields more success. Experience has shown me proof of that and provided reference points I can look back at for reinforcement and motivation. For example, small successes in therapy paved the way for small successes in treatment. Learning to understand the role my “old me” self-talk played in my thoughts and actions led me to make a number of changes to re-direct my self-talk – less cursing, less judgments, and adopting mindfulness practice for better self-awareness. The changes resulted in more positive and constructive thoughts and actions, boosted my morale, and improved my self-esteem and confidence. That helped me push myself outside my “comfort zone” in active treatment to trust the group, be vulnerable about myself, and transparent about my offensive behavior. The vulnerability and transparency led to a better understanding of the concepts being taught, which led to better application of the concepts in my daily living, and that led to successfully completing treatment with the positive review and praise of my “…exemplary participation…”.
My foundation is stronger than it’s been in a long time. I look at that as Goal #1 accomplished. I’m committed to continuing to strengthen it and consistent about seeking more opportunities to do that. The stronger foundation I’ve built and continue to work on has helped me grow by adding strong building blocks that benefit me now and, looking long-term, post-release.
Stronger each day, with each opportunity.
Humbly and gratefully.