I have finally received my property from the previous facility I was housed in, including my textbooks and class materials for the courses I’m enrolled in. I’m now planning on spending every morning in the library (as I have already been doing) but now I will be again making progress towards a degree. This will be good for me because as long as I’m making progress on things that are real and beneficial like a degree, I feel more at peace with my time. It’s when I’m just sitting and doing nothing that the time becomes almost unbearable. I learned this VERY early in my incarceration and have made sure I’m constantly doing productive activities to occupy my time so as to gain something with my time here instead of wasting it away. Also because I feel like I must do these things if I’m gnat succeed in normal life as a productive member of society. It’s too bad I don’t qualify for the first step act and the federal time credits that it gives for completing productive activities. My 924(c) charge bars me from qualifying. The presence of a firearm in my car along with narcotics led me to be charged with a severe crime considered to be violent and that carries a mandatory consecutive sentence of 5 years on top of anything else (the 924(c).) This was my biggest mistake. I would never consider myself a violent person and have never had any documented instances of violence anywhere I’ve been my entire life. Now to be considered a violent drug trafficker is unfortunate and to be honest, simply untrue. In the beginning, I trafficked in narcotics to pay for my own addiction. This was a terrible decision, but the gun was not there to further my crimes. I am not a violent person. I believe in anything but violence to resolve conflicts. It was a mistake that I did not consider to be a big deal. This was one big error in my thinking that I made and it is now costing me dearly. I will be here to pay that debt with my freedom. I will never allow myself to make these mistakes again. In my education, I have learned where my mistakes were and what I must do to correct them. I understand now why I wasn’t interested in being a part of society. Its become clear to me now that this is exactly what I want for myself. To join a society and make it a better place. My understanding and education have freed me from a life of suffering. I will continue to make progress now on my goals. I will also write out my release plan so I can focus on how to more effectively carry them out.
