Who am I? That has been a question I have been working through for the last 30’ish years of my life. I think I was 12 years old when I first started trying to find who I wanted to be. Like Mr. Santos I was heavily influenced by the T.V. I remember he liked the movie “Scarface”. I remember the commercial of the frying pan and the egg sizzling where they’re talking about drugs, that was one… Another was the commercial with the guy in the addict with the curtains closed enjoying his high. Through that and experimenting with inhalants of gas and the use of marijuana and at 15 my first use of methamphetamines. I found myself and at the time, was open to telling people what kind of drugs I was doing because I feel our media has glorified drug use and abuse. It was the beginning of me becoming an entrepreneur and the expansion of the criminal network I had built. I prided myself in having dropped out of school and being the guy who could get whatever I needed. From stores, I would steal to support my habit and through relationships, I was able to supply those in need of drugs. I was over-experienced in my field and was quickly spirally out of control. At the age of 25, I had my first encounter with law enforcement, and within 1 week, I obtained 2 first degree possession charges and 2 first degree sales from 12-25 my life was complete chaos and I somehow felt like I was okay with the direction of my life. I was convicted of first-degree possession and sentenced to 72 months, and convicted of 2nd-degree possession and sentenced to 68 months to run concurrently. While incarcerated I learned a great deal about who I was and that I no longer was proud of my early choices. I was able to obtain my GED and complete an early release program called C.I.P. (challenge incarceration program) I also completed ISR (Intensive Supervised Release). I believe I was successful in that prison sentence, and completing school and these programs were my life’s first accomplishments. November 11, 2011, my daughter was born into this world and I thought I had my life right where I wanted it. I started my career as a union carpenter and had full custody of my daughter. I was an active member of Narcotics Anonymous, where I would chair meetings, sponsor other addicts, give rides, and genuinely try to help other addicts with their needs. I had a one-time-use relapse with the mother of my daughter and was able to remove myself and my daughter and relocate with my parents. I lost the fire I had early in my recovery that allowed me to end up engaged to be married and build my house to share with this woman. Unfortunately, I slowly drifted away from my recovery.
Around 2015 I was back in active addiction. Hiding my use from everyone and was able to hold my life together until 2017 when I was arrested again on 1st-degree possession and sales charges. Again, sentenced to 75 months, and during that incarceration, I participated in a program called the Camp Prison Fellowship Academy. The fellowship program is a spiritually motivated religious program which is exactly where my life was lacking. While in the program, I qualified for another early release through a conditional release program and I.S.R., but this time upon release, was completely different from the first time being released. I really had NO plan, I was released months before the COVID-19 pandemic, and that shut down the support network I had relied upon through attending meetings and being able to have a regular scheduled routine. COVID-19 also financially crippled me as well because I was unable to find employment at that time. And within a year’s time of my release, I was indicted on a 500-gram or more federal statute and sentenced to 150 months.
Since being locked up and while in the county I have participated in the “EDOVO” program, which was conducted through a video presentation. “Earning Freedom”, “Straight A study guide”, “Prison: My 8344th Day,” and many mental health classes. I am motivated and focused on taking as many programs and classes as I can take advantage of to ensure my success in the future. Also, I have been gravitating to bear witness and give my testimony to people struggling to answer the question, “Who am I?” I believe God is pushing me in this direction. I know it’s not over for me, and my best is only yet to come.
Sincerely Scott
