Sitting in a federal prison as a twenty-year-old, white female is not what I would consider “The American Dream”. Although, if it weren’t for this experience, I wouldn’t be the person I am today, or have the goals I aspire to pursue. Exploring myself spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally made me want to show my community and world that inmates can become more than a number. I may not be living “The American Dream”, but I am going to live my own. Street smarts are not something you can learn from books, as well as many life skills. If I was not incarcerated, I would still be using drugs to escape reality. No matter what kind of addiction there is, reality will always be waiting for you. The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that the people who genuinely care about you will stick by your side through anything, pushing you to be your best self. Those who only benefit from you, whether it’s money, security, etc., will use your incarceration as an excuse to leave. My faith in the Lord has kept me strong through all trials and tribulations, whether it’s in the courtroom or the heart. Finding God has helped me heal my heart and change my mindset. Whenever I feel alone, I pray. Whenever I get bored, I study the Bible. Filling the time with my belief in God contributes to maintaining a positive mindset and making every second count. Building and analyzing my SWOT analysis, made me dig deeper about myself. My biggest strength is being able to communicate and work with others, which builds on the opportunity to spread the word about what I stand for and what I went through. My biggest weakness is letting people’s words harm me, depending on how close we are. This could lead to self-doubt and letting those people define my future. I am grateful to discover this weakness so I can proceed to heal and grow stronger before my release. Thanks to my incarceration, I have been able to discover my true aspirations. My long-term goal is to run a successful clothing line to support suicide awareness. These clothes will represent a movement to bring the attention needed and justice for those victims of suicide awareness. My short-term goals consist of working back into society. I will be active in my church, work a full-time job, study substance abuse counseling, and do everything dedicated to my long-term goals. Being a felon could be seen as a disadvantage, but I will use it to my advantage to show we can be more than a number. By journaling daily will show change to be better for the community and world. Right now these are just words, but these words will prove trust, credibility, and change when the actions match. Being in a federal prison may not be “The American Dream”, but it has made me discover and pursue my own.
