At the height of a very successful career, I made the worst mistake in my entire life. I agreed to knowingly engage in fraud as a leader in three different organizations that spanned over a decade. I allowed my people pleasing, need for validation, greed to cloud my judgement. In November 2022, I had an idea that I was the target of an investigation when a federal agent reached out to my former CFO and as her supervisor, she shared his email and his request for bank records. I tried to convince myself that it was nothing and that this had to be about something else.
In December of the same year, I was awakened by two officers knocking on my door to ask me questions about my crime. Obviously, I was scared and nervous and the first question they asked I denied, however, later immediately after there was a relief to be able to finally end this saga and in a symbolic way; cleanse my soul. Afterall, I was tired and exhausted.
In early 2023, I found out about Prison Professors and used their services. I’ve enjoyed every interaction and grateful for the support provided to write my presentencing letter, my release plan and the help me prepare for interactions with various stakeholders. The thing that I am most appreciative of is the way this organization is about taking full accountability of your actions and not leveraging their tools to get early release. The goal is to think long term so that you can influence every stakeholder along the way and return to society a law-abiding citizen with a plan to live a full and successful life.
Since December of 2022, I have been doing just that. I’ve even begun to implement some of my re-entry plan, working two full-time jobs and volunteering for an organization that helps justice impacted individuals to earn a degree in STEM.
Reflection
As I ask myself the question “how did I get here”, I am clear on what led to my poor decision. Let me begin with, I am the reason and do not fault anyone else. However, I suffer from abandonment and trust issue. Because of them I didn’t have an accountability partner to honestly discuss things that I struggle with for fear of being judged. I now realize that if I had shared this with someone, I am certain they could have talked me out of complying with the person’s request to engage in a kickback scheme. This trauma is a result of my childhood and now I am working with a therapist to address those issues to prohibit them from further hindering my life but my judgement as well. with. Additionally because of that trauma, I made my drinking about wanting to have a good time, however, I can now admit that I have a drinking problem which also didn’t help my ability to make good decisions as I was drinking every day.
Education
As a former teacher and school leader, I’ve always had a passion for caring for the wellbeing of everyone which is what drew me to teaching in under-resourced areas. Although the work was arduous and draining, I loved every minute of it. I want to continue my life passion of caring for others. So once sentencing is complete, I plan to earn a degree in nursing. I am currently taking my prerequisite courses to make me eligible for a program. Eventually, I want to be a nurse practitioner and open a clinic for homeless and justice impacted individuals to address their health care needs.
Volunteer
I currently volunteer for an organization called Prion to PH. D, its founder is a justice impacted person who went on to become an endocrinologist and researcher that studies insulin resistance in his quest to find a cure. Once a year, they accept a group of formerly or currently incarcerated individuals and take them through a curriculum that covers a variety of topics. At the conclusion of this course, the scholars are assigned a mentor that helps them through the application process for work, or school. More importantly, this role isn’t about solely helping but it ‘s an accountability partner as well. An extension of their community to support scholars to make good choices and to follow their goals.
Whatever my sentence, I will rise from this with an re-entry plan that if I work it, will ensure that I am successful during and post probation.
